Memories
by Lady-in-Waiting Kat
Summary: Max finds out just how much a second really means as she taks a trip down memory lane.


Disclaimer: I don't own 'em as much as it pains me to say it I don't but (!) I do own Faith and all the other original characters.  

Summary: A lot can happen in only a second Max realizes as she takes a trip down memory lane. 

Pairing: M/A all the way!  [Warning Max sleeps w/ someone else and mention of Logan too]

Author's Note: I wrote this late at night so go easy on me. All spelling mistakes are not my fault blame them on the computer and I love you all so please review! Ty  .

       A second, only a single second, that's all it takes to change a life. To change her life… and his. A slim woman with mocha skin and chocolate brown hair smiled fondly down at a sleeping infant. It had only taken a second to conceive the child and then it seemed only a second later that it had been born. Now they were the only two beings in the minuscule living room of her apartment.

     " Faith." The name tasted sweet on her lips and Max found that she liked the feel of it there. Hesitantly she reached out a slender hand to touch the baby, her fingers falling short of actually brushing the infant's soft flesh. The young mother laughed as she remembered what Jem had told her when she had gone seeking advice. '_Let sleeping babies sleep._' The women had advised. Max curled her fingers before pulling them away from the peaceful child. 

        It had been three days ago that she had given birth to the darling little girl. Three days ago that her life had changed once again forever. But then again Max thought as she watched her daughter sleep, her life had changed long before that. After all a baby can't be conceived and born in the same day. At least not as far she knew.

 Flashback

_     "Max look at me." A familiar voice said. Max dragged her eyes away from her filthy tennis shoes and looked at him just like he had asked. "It wasn't your fault." He reassured her placing a large hand on her knee. "There was no way we coulda gotten there in time."_

_      "No way." She repeated absently her eyes seeing past the man crouched before her. _

_      "Max?" He asked sliding his hand a little up her leg and then back down it again. "Maxie?" Automatically she slapped his hand away and snapped. ._

_        "Don't call me that." Alec grinned despite the tone of her voice. At least now she wasn't looking at him like that. Like she could see the faces of the dead in his. _

_         "It wasn't your fault." He repeated as he placed his hand beneath her chin. Silently he wondered just how many times he had said those exact words to her over the past month. "Max?" To many times he concluded brushing his thumb over her smooth check. _

_         "Yeah, I know." She replied sighing. "It's just…"_

_         "I know." Alec said soothingly. I know." _

End Flashback

          Not all the changes had been happy ones just as not all of them had been good. Many transgentics had been lost since the beginning of the siege, she couldn't pretend that there hadn't but at least the number was minimal. _2,897_ Max thought, _the number of residents in TC. The number of people that look to me for guidance. The number of people's lives riding on my hands._ No not all the changes had been good ones, not all of them at all.

 Flashback

     _"Max!" An anguished voice cried over the vast wasteland. A gnarled hand reached up from the wreckage all around them. "Help me." _

_     "I can't." Max answered tears pooling in her liquid brown eyes. "I'll kill you if we touch. Oh god Logan." She cried as he shifted under the fallen debris. "Don't move it'll only make it worse." Quickly she swooped down into a crouch besides the severely hurt man. Cuts and scratches riddled his body as while a few bruises and a deep gash along his ribs where part of the roof had clasped upon him. Max surveyed all this her eyes clouding even more._

_       This time it really was her fault. She had allowed Logan to stay in TC since his identity had been comprised. Besides she had reasoned, at the time, he was a good hacker and had a lot of contacts on the outside willing to help him. At the time she hadn't expected the government to try and drive the transgentics out of their new home by bombing the tallest building in TC. The building where Logan had been staying. Once again Max shuttered as she drew her arms up around her small form to stop herself from reaching out and touching him. It was all her fault._

_      Helplessly Max watched as Logan gave his last gasping breath and finally died. Reaching down at last to touch him Max slid her fingers over his eyes closing them for the last time. As she did so Renfro's voice filtered through her mind. '_Your poison 452. Everyone you love dies and it's all because of you.' _Max bowed her head defeated as she wordlessly agreed with the evil bitch. She was poison. _

_      Everyone she had ever loved was dead. Ben, Tanga, Brin, Sieth, Fresca, and now Logan. All of them gone. Not all of them Max reminded herself with a grimace. Her brother Zack was still out there. _

Yeah he's still out there _a little_ voice_ said inside her head._ And he'll never remember you.

       _Poison._

_         The word fit her like a glove. She was poison. _

_     "Max?" A tentive voice asked from behind her. Max looked up at the well build man her eyes still sparkling with unshed tears. _

_      "Alec," She began. "I killed him." _

 End Flashback

     The bombing had been the militaries first attempt to ride them of the trannies and sadly so not the last. Over the last two years they had tried an assortment of deadly gasses and liquids. Fortunately they hadn't harmed the transgentics.  Manticore had come through yet again. But the fire had. Max reminded herself.

 Flashback

     _Large orange-red flames licked the dark night sky casting ghostly shadows upon the gathered people who watched the old, crumbling build burn. On one side of the fence a small group of ragged bums cheered at their success of getting a flaming beer bottle over the tall beerier. _

_     In TC the story was a different one. Max and Alec rushed around frantically organizing those present and uninjured into a line to form a bucket barged. Max heard Alec instruct a bunch of X6's to start drawling water and bringing it back here. The words had hardly left his mouth then the teenagers had scampered away at lightening speed. Max paused for a moment and smiled. Feeling eyes on his back Alec turned around to find Max giving him a grateful smile. He returned her smile with a grin before the two returned to their tasks._

_     The night was to be a long one Max knew but still she was surprised just how quickly things came together. The once skyward bound flames sputtered angrily at their attackers as bucket after bucket of water was thrown over them. Nearby a team of meds treated all who had been injured by the flames. Still more transgentics were being rescued from the building but few were still inside. Most had been able to escape when the building first caught. Max grinned as she surveyed her people, her family unified in one cause. _

_       On the other side of the fence the bums' faces grew long and their cheers died. Anger greater then that of the dieing flames flared within them. _How dare they!_ The general thoughts of the mob hung clearly in the heavy night air. But before they could do anything else it began to rain._

_        Max lifted her face heavens ward her hands leaving her sides to reach up as while. A surprised laugh escaped her lips as the icy drops washed over her and all the rest. All around her cheers rose up as the others too raised their hands skyward in triumph. They had won this battle at least she thought as a rare smile graced her full lips. But the feeling didn't last long. _

_       "Walt!" Someone shouted. "Walt!" The cries were high pitched with hysteria. _

_       "What's the matter?" Max asked grabbing the dark haired woman's arm. _

_       "I can't find my son." She yelled tears running from the corners of her eyes as she faced Max._

_         At once Max felt her heart skip a beat. "Where did you last see him?" Max asked her eyes searching the frail looking woman's._

_         "H-h he was with me when the fire started but we got separated on our way down the stairs. He's only two years old." The woman's cold monotone turned into a sharp wail of anguish as Max's eyes looked up at the still flaming building. It had been over four hours since the blaze had started if the little boy was still inside he'd be dead. Even if he had been able to hid somewhere. Max shuttered inwardly at the thought._

_        "Don't worry I'll send someone to look for him. I'm sure he's around some where." Max reassured the woman is a startlingly calm voice. Even as she guided the woman away from the main part of the crowd a feeling growing in her gut told her the child was dead. "Joel?" Max asked an X5. The raven-haired man looked down upon her and the heretical woman besides her._

_           "Yeah ma... Max." Joel answered focusing all his attention on TC leader._

_           "I need you to find a little boy by the name of Walt." Max instated. _

_           "What does he look like?" The man asked as if being briefed for a mission. _

_            Max looked at the missing boy's mother. "He's small," The ladies hand shot away from Max's grip and indicated a height at around her knees. "With red brown hair and brown eyes." Joel nodded before moving away form the two women. _

_           The boy had been found in only a few moments. Once Max was amazed by how fast the trannies got their missions done. The boy though was dead just as Max had thought. Their had been little help for the mother after that. At least not the help that Max could give, after all she hadn't got through the loss of a child. The boy was not the only casualty; five others were later found when an extensive search of the building was done. _

End Flashback

     Before Max the baby stirred in her sleep. The young mother's heart quickened as she thought of all that could happen to her daughter. Shacking her head Max took a step back from the old metal washtub she was using for a bassinet. _'It won't.' _Max told herself firmly. _'I won't let it and neither will Alec or Joshua.'_ Slowly the beautiful woman uncurled her fists and calmed her racing heart. _Alec_. The name had the same calming effect on her as Faith's name does. Max smiled slightly thinking of her friend, her good friend.

  Flashback

     _"Hey." Alec said as a way of greeting._

_     "Hey yourself." Max replied a teasing gleam in her dark coffee eyes. Alec came up behind her pulling her against him into a hug._

_      "Miss me?" He whispered in her ear softly. Max gasped at the feel of his warm breath against her neck._

_      "Always." She replied faintly. From behind her Alec grinned a real grin. One that reached his mysterious green eyes. Moving his face forward he placed a light kiss upon Max's collarbone causing Max to shutter. "I missed you a lot." She explained once her voice came back. _

_        "What's not to miss?" Alec shrugged. Playfully Max slapped him. _

_       "Alec!" She cried in mock outrage. Her expressive eyes dancing with laughter. "I could think of a few things." She pretended to muse as he snuggled his face into the nape of her neck. "You sleep to much…"_

_       "You love the way I look when I sleep." Alec countered the claim._

_       "You talk to much…" _

_      " You talk to little."_

_       "Really?" Max asked spinning around in his arms so that they can face to face with one another. _

_         "Really." Alec answered his eyes asking an unvoiced question. In response Max captured his kissable lips._

_         "I love you." _

_         "I love you to." _

End Flashback

     Alec had been her rock during the hard times and her lover during the few peaceful laps in between. Their initial relationship had been a strange form of friendship forged of common pasts and dismal futures. Then they had become trapped within the walls of TC and as they worked and lived closer then ever their friendship thrived. Especially with the hard times that had followed the raising of TC's flag.

       Alec had been her shoulder to cry on when Sketchy and OC had be sent away from the city because of the toxicity. Then a month later he had comforted her once more after the bombing and Logan's death along with all the others. For weeks afterwards she grieved but looking back now she realized that it was more for the lose of her own people then for the lose of an old infatuation. And that was all Logan had ever been Max had realized as she sat curled up crying in Alec's arms one night. That was when things had changed again. That was when she began to think of Alec as more then a good friend.

      Unfortunately Max's heat cycle had kicked in right about that time. It was almost eleven months into the siege by then and not a very good time. Her heat only lasted one day though and not because of Alec.

       Max hadn't noticed the signs hinting at what was to come and neither had anyone else for that matter. It came upon her during a visit to a friend's house, Haley's house, but Haley hadn't been home. Her neighbor had been outside though and while one thing let to another and… in the morning looked into the eyes of her one night stand and read the horror in them. That night had sealed her faith in a matter of speaking.

 Flashback

     _Deep pools of icy blue darkened with fear and realization. "I'm sorry so sorry." The muscular man babbled as he jumped up from the bed. "I couldn't…"_

_     Max sighed deeply. "I know." She replied looking down at the untidy sheets beneath her shacking hands. Her long brunette hair hid her face from view and the other X5 didn't know how to take it. _

_      "No you don't!" He cried almost shrilly with fear. "494's gonna kill me."_

_      "Alec." Max automatically corrected the blue haired transgenic. "And he won't kill you."_

_       "Why not after what I did." The man shook his head in disbelief._

_        "You couldn't help yourself and besides it was just sex." Max stated calmly even though in her eyes tears gathered. _

_        The male X5 inhaled deeply in shock. His eyes widened even more in disbelief as his head snapped up to stair at her. "You don't know?" He asked suddenly._

_        "Know what?" Max asked finally looking up to meet the man's heavy gaze. At once his frightened eyes jumped away._

_         "Of course you wouldn't you're an 09er." He muttered to himself helplessly._

_         "What do you mean of course!?!" Max snapped her hands flying to her hips as she stared him down angrily._

_          "N-nothing it's just that you kinda missed the good ol' sex talk they gave us." The frantic trannie began to explain. "If in heat a females chance of conception is around 98% if she copulates with a transgenic male." As he finished Max froze the words slowly sinking in. _

_           "You mean I'm pregnant?" She asked her voice competently drained of emotion. From the other side of the room the X5 male nodded. _

  End Flashback

     The X5, who's name she later found out to be Devon, was right. Alec was pissed to the point that he wanted to kill the other male. Max, though, didn't let him.

 Flashback

     _"Alec don't! There's been enough blood spilled already. He doesn't deserve to lose his life over something he couldn't control any more then I could." Max had argued._

 End Flashback

     At first she hadn't understood but then it hit her. She was his. She always really had been and it seemed that everyone in TC had know it but her. For a while Max had felt both blind and stupid for knot seeing it had been so obvious hadn't it?

      From there it was Max confronted Alec about it and ever since then they had been lovers. The child that had been spawned that heat induced night had become more Alec's child then Devon's by the time it was born and Max was glad for this. It didn't mean that the two shared an apartment it just meant that they were mates.

      _Only mates_ Max thought as she picked up her daughter because her patients for the child to wake up had run out. Large Brown eyes blinked sleepily before settling closed once more.

        For nearly two years Max had called TC home and during that time she lost a lot in only seconds but then again in those same seconds she had gained a lot as while. Sighting Max left her child's bedside to sit on the worn couch which lay against the living room wall. Only a second was all it took.  

A/N: Ty 4 reading my story if u like review. I like constructive criticism if it's constructive. If u flame me I'll just delete it so don't bother wasting ur time.

    Love lots

        -Kat_ . _


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